


Madness

by imnerdyandimproud



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-05 07:15:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1809913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnerdyandimproud/pseuds/imnerdyandimproud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You work in a mental hospital as a night nurse, when one of your coworkers begins to tell you about a new patient brought in claiming he's from another world. You laugh it off first as insanity, but slowly start to realize there could be more at play than you originally thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You really love working nights. After visiting hours at 9pm, there's nothing really to do except make your rounds and check on the patients. Sometimes, there's a bit of fuss; an attempted escape, some patient getting violent (or attempting to) with their roommate (or you on occasion) but for the most part when that magic hour hits there's nothing really left to do except play 2028 on your phone and count the minutes until shift change.

 _Except_ when there's an intake.

"We've got a live one tonight!" Your coworker (and friend) Liv calls as she's dragging a teenage girl by one arm, Julian taking the other. The girl is thrashing and spitting as they go past, calling out all sorts of cusses as she bares her teeth. You notice (vaguely) that her arms are bleeding; signs of self harm. 

"Fuck you! All of you!" the girl cries out. "I fucking hate you! You can't keep me here!  _Fuck you!_ _"_

"Wanna get me a sedative?" Liv asks you with a smile. 

You raise an eyebrow at her. "How long has she been like this? You know it's 15+ before we can sedate her." 

Liv groans theatrically. "Fuckin' paper pushers. Let's see  _them_ do the grunt work for once-  _hey!_ _"_ The girl has managed to break free and attempts to pull Liv's blonde hair, piled up on her head in a messy bun. Automatically, the girl is forced onto her stomach, and both Liv and Julian spread the arms apart for the restraint. You begin the timer on your watch. 

9:08 pm. Great. Two and a half hours until shift change. 

About five minutes later, the girl stills enough so that she's brought up and escorted into her new room. Her roommate is a 45 year old woman- Mrs. Kim. She's been there for as long as you've been working; they've run out of adult facilities to place her in and now she's just biding her time until another spot becomes available. It's pretty sad, actually, but she doesn't cause any trouble so it's fine with you if she stays.

"Attacked her mother with a kitchen knife," Julian says in an undertone, sliding up next to you as you keep watch in the doorway. "The marks on her arms are from the struggle. Bipolar with a healthy amount of aggression mixed in;  _lethal_ combination." 

"I'll read the intake paperwork later," you say, brushing the information off. "The psychiatrists will load her up on so much medication that she won't be able to blink without difficulty." 

Julian nods. "I know, but that's not what I wanted to run by you." 

You stare at him, puzzled. "Oh? What is it?" Usually, you don't speak to Julian much; he's pretty quiet and keeps to himself, plus the way the units are divided into men and women. Male staff work with men and vice versa; however, the men usually jump in to assist with violent patients. 

"We had an intake a couple of days ago...the guy is a whole new breed of crazy," Julian begins, shaking his head. "Apparently some frightened little old ladies who were playing Mah Jong in Central Park found him walking around, crazed out of his mind, trying to kidnap people. Think's he's a  _god,_ if you can believe that." 

"What, Jesus?" you laugh. "We've had a couple messiahs here before. Shouldn't phase you Julian."

"Nah, not Jesus. I could handle another Christ," Julian almost-smiles. "Something viking-like. Reminded me of that movie that came out a couple years ago...the one with the lightning guy?" 

"Thor?" You laugh earnestly now. It's no secret around the ward that it's one of your favorite movies. "We've got Thor here? You're shitting me." 

"Thor's not the bad guy, right?"

You shake your head. "That would be Loki." 

Julian snaps at you. "That's it! He's been saying his name is Loki. Anyway, they told me to see if you wanted to talk to him, since you know that kind of stuff. Psych thinks it would be good if we speak his language a little...get inside his world before we can figure out where to send him. You in?" 

You shrug. "Sure, I can do that. When do we start?"

 


	2. Chapter 2

Julian brings you into the patient's room. You're surprised to see that the other bed is vacant from your position in the hallway, and you fix Julian with a questioning glance but he's quick to reply, "We couldn't have anyone with him. He's been attacking staff around the clock."

"And you're planning on leaving me alone with him?" You gasp in fake hurt, but really, you're not  _overly_ intimidated. You know that you could hold your own if need be. Still, Julian shakes his head and reassures you that he'll be sitting close by. 

When you see the infamous patient himself, you're taken back by just how much the guy really looks like Tom Hiddleston. Either this guy is a world-class cosplayer or he's had a lot of plastic surgery to look the part; he's got the same pale skin, long raven hair, and sharp green eyes. Hell, his cheekbones are even pronounced and his nose is thin and aristocratic looking. 

"You send a woman to do a man's job?" the man sneers from his position in his bed, and you pick up on an accent you can't quite place. You then notice that his arms and legs are cuffed to the bed in leather restraints. 

"Hello..Loki?" You say, looking at Julian out of the corner of your eye for assistance. He nods, slightly. "Can I call you Loki?" 

"I'd prefer you leave me in peace,  _mortal_ ," he huffs. Well, he certainly has Loki's attitude right... "Is it normal to keep your patients up all hours of the night?" 

"It's 10:30," you smile tightly. You really hate it when your patients talk back to you, but you're willing to play along...for now. "And this won't take too long. I'd just love to make your acquaintance, that's all. It's not every day we have a prince here." 

One of the man's slender eyebrows raises. "Oh? Come to mock me, you pathetic quim?" 

"Hey," Julian growls, stepping into the doorframe. "Watch it." 

His palms raise on either side of the bed frame in surrender. "It is not I who seeks to start a quarrel. Keep your bitch here on a short leash, lest I have to do your job for you." 

Your cheeks flare red and you can feel Julian tense beside you. Still, you're not willing to break. "Relax," you murmur to Julian, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Just disengage. He's looking for a reaction. I'm fine." 

"I'm going to take a walk then," Julian snarls with a positively venomous glance at the patient before stomping out. 

"Finally," the man sighs dramatically from his bed. " _That_ one has quite the temper. Particularly...rough with me, last night." 

"Julian?" this is surprising. You never really pegged Julian as someone to lose control so easily...he always appeared so calm and collected. "Do you want to file a complaint? You have that right, you know, if you feel-" 

"The only complaint I have," the man interrupts you. "Is that I'm being held captive here against my will." 

"Not a lot of people are used to seeing an Asgardian in Central Park," you tell him lightly. "You made quite an impression on some of the locals. They brought you here for your own safety." 

"Funny," he snorts, motioning to the restraints binding him. "Yet here I am, held prisoner. Besides, they need not fear for  _my_ safety, but rather theirs should they choose to resist me." 

"Oh?" You pull a chair up to the side of the bed, feeling as though, at last, you're  _finally_ getting somewhere. "And what would happen if they...resisted you?" 

The man fixes you with a smile so cold that it sends shivers running down your spine; and that's saying  _a lot,_ coming from someone used to spending her time in the company of psychopaths and the mentally unstable. "I'd tell you to ask around, but there's no one to speak of." 

He's baiting you, you realize. Carefully judging your reaction for horror or disgust...you play into neither. Instead you brush it off with a light laugh. "Well you  _are_ the god of chaos, right?" 

He stills, a look of confusion briefly making its way across his features. "You are quite comfortable to be in the presence of such a god, then, mortal?" 

"Oh I'm honored," you reassure him, not wanting to lose the fragile connection you've established. "But it doesn't surprise me that someone who masters in mayhem would treat murder so lightly...no." 

He opens his mouth to respond when Julian makes his reappearance in the doorframe, clearing his throat slightly. "Mrs. Kim is sleepwalking again," he says, keeping his eyes fixed on "Loki" all the while. "I think that's enough for tonight anyway." 

"I agree," you say, standing up and pushing the chair away. "It was a pleasure...Loki." Using the alias still feels funny in your mouth, so you sneak a peek at the chart hanging on the bed:  _John Doe_. Shit. 

He just nods at you, his gaze cold and calculating as it rakes over your form. "Until next time...mortal." 


	3. Chapter 3

"There's  _no way_ you have all the jacks." 

You're playing Bullshit with "Loki", and, surprise surprise, he keeps winning. You don't really expect any less from the "god of lies"- this guy has been pretty true to character all along. Still, its unnerving at how well he manages to lie to you, hand after hand, the number of cards in his hand dwindling each time. 

"Really, mortal? I beg to differ." He smirks, laying down four jacks in front of you. You study them in disbelief- glancing at the jack of clubs in your own hand. 

"You have another deck." You say, studying him closely. "I have the jack of clubs." 

He raises an eyebrow at you, that crooked smile making a reappearance. "Check again. Maybe you're mistaken." 

Sure enough, the next time you look down at your hand, the jack of clubs has morphed into a queen. You don't really have time to question him on it, though, (besides, you're pretty tired and probably had it mistaken all along) because an elderly hispanic man is entering the room, ushered in by Julian. 

"What's this?" he asks, glaring at Julian. " _Who_ is this?"

"Your new roommate," Julian shrugs. "Hector. Try not to torture him too much." 

"Roommate?" You question. The last time you spoke to Julian, John Doe was "too dangerous" to have a roommate- and that was only two days ago. "What's his story?"   
  
"Catatonia." Julian says, ushering the man into the bed adjacent to "Loki's". "He's harmless enough, doesn't even speak. I'm sure you two will get along fine." 

He says nothing, only staring at the pair of cards in his hand. You make small talk with Julian in the interim (how the shift's gone, how his weekend was, the latest episode of Game of Thrones) until Julian ends up getting paged to the front desk. After he's gone, "Loki" acknowledges you once more. 

"He desires you, you know," he says, claiming to put down two kings. 

"Bullshit," you say with a nod to the cards lying on the top of the pile. "And I don't really think that's any of your business." You smirk playfully at him, knowing for a fact that what he's saying is  as bullshit as the card game- Julian is in a pretty serious relationship with a girl named Melanie. 

"I don't know why you continue to doubt me, mortal," he huffs, turning over the cards- sure enough, you're looking at two kings. "You and the rest of your ridiculous race are so blind to see what's in front of your eyes." 

"What do you mean by that?" You deal out the cards again. This is usually how it goes, conversing with him. He starts out all mysterious and aloof, playing with you- but there's always a deeper meaning he tries to slip past you. Luckily, you're trained not to miss it. "What are we overlooking about you?" 

"What I've already told you?" he laughs, a wonderful deep melodic sound. "That you sit in the presence of a god?" 

You've come across this before- Lester Marquez, 20 something year old came in a few months ago claiming to be the Hindu god of destruction. Someone asked him to prove it and he destroyed the west wing of the hospital  _without_ any divine intervention. You know better than to bait the patients on their delusions. "I believe I've expressed my honor to you before about this matter, Loki." 

"And yet your tone  _drips_ with sarcasm," he snarls at you, throwing the cards down on the flimsy bed tray. "If proof is what you require, you shall have it, mortal." 

You open your mouth to correct him when Hector sits straight up in his bed. He turns to face you with glazed eyes before he starts speaking in Loki's voice. "Believe me now, mortal? Is this not enough to convince your fickle mind?" 

You still, instantly, your eyes flickering between Hector and "Loki"- who is sitting perfectly still in his own bed, smirking at you, but his lips are sealed shut. "Stop that. I know you're doing it." 

"Not good enough?" Hector/Loki laughs at you. "Fine." 

There's a vague, phantom sensation of hands on your body,  _caressing you under your clothes_ , and you jump out of your seat, eyes wide with fear. " _How about that, pet? Not good enough?"_ Loki's voice says in your head and you scream so loudly that Julian comes running along with two other staff members. 

Loki just laughs and laughs away in his bed, eyes fixed on you. 

You don't return to work for the next three days.


	4. Chapter 4

During your time off, you replay the...incident over and over in your head. 

You work late nights, you rationalize. You often come home too tired to think straight. It's possible that you imagined the whole thing, right? Maybe it was one of those lucid dreams...so lucid it felt like reality. That happens to people, the mind playing tricks. 

It's also possible that maybe Hector is a really good mimic. You didn't know anything about him, Julian didn't seem to either, you've known patients to be able to throw their voice... maybe John Doe knew Hector before, had seen him on a trip to the bathroom getting admitted, wanted to mess with you. Maybe Hector just picked up on a vibe and went with it. 

But the cards changing in your hand...the feeling of hands on your body...

It wasn't even like it  _was_ a sexual thing. It had felt like someone was tickling the back of your neck, under your scrubs. The light sensation of fingers skimming over your ribs, almost like feathers running over you, although it was the unmistakeable feel of flesh on flesh.

A physiological response to anxiety, most likely. You were anxious about "Loki's" behavior so your body imagined danger to react to. As for his voice in your head...you've seen  _Thor_ quite a few times. You were probably just anticipating what the character would say. 

Still, as much as you try to talk yourself out of it, you can't shake the feeling that maybe it  _was_ real.

You end up watching  _Thor_ over and over again in bed, skipping to the parts that feature Loki's character. You study his every facial expression, mannerism, movement, until you're able to  _think_ like he does. You wonder, vaguely, if this is how your John Doe got into character. 

You still want to know where he came from but know the only answer you'll get is Asgard. 

The night before you return to work, there's a knock on your apartment door. It's pretty late for visitors, so you're more than a little spooked. You grab a trusty ole Louisville Slugger out of the closet (one of your exes played minor league baseball) and open the door, poised for attack. 

There's a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers sitting in the doorframe. _Hope you're feeling better- don't let the kooks get you down. -J_  

You rip the card into pieces and slam the door.

* * *

"I want to know how you did it."   
  
It's after hours, and all the other patients are supposed to be sleeping. You've just clocked out (not that your superiors need to know that) and you've practically got "Loki" by the collar of his Johnny. "I don't know what you're talking about, mortal," he sneers, shrinking away from you. "Still not over your little mental break? That's what they've been calling it, you know. Say you've gone just as loony as the pathetic creatures you serve." 

"The flowers!" you shout, and poor Hector groans in his sleep. "The flowers you sent to my apartment," you continue in a harsh whisper. "That were supposedly from  _Julian_." 

He studies you for a moment, emerald eyes unblinking, before bursting into laughter. "Oh darling, that's rich. You're accusing me, a  _patient_ under lock and key, of sending you  _flowers when you already know who sent them_? Come now, even your puny mind must realize how ridiculous you sound." 

"You're the god of mischief, right?" You pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling a migraine coming on. "You always have an endgame. So what is it here? You're trying to fabricate a...romance between Julian and I? What's the point to it? Just a way to pass the time?" 

"I don't have to fabricate  _anything_ ," he tells you smugly. "I was just pointing out what any being with eyes and a brain would notice. If your suitors advances are...unwelcome, perhaps you should bring it up with him."

"I know it was you," you whisper, glaring at him. "I know that you did it. I just can't figure out how. But I know-" 

"I think you  _wanted_ them to be from me," he tells you, smiling innocently up at you. "I think that it's eating you up inside that such a drippy, romantic gestures wasn't from the person you're truly desiring, hmm? So you play this little fantasy in your head, give yourself a bit of drama to act out. Well, darling, if you're truly that starved for adventure, you needn't look  _nearly_ as hard as you have been. Everything you've been dreaming of is literally within your grasp, you just need to open your eyes." 

You go to respond when someone calls your name from the doorway. Julian. Of  _course_ it's Julian. "What?" You all but growl at him, meeting him out in the hallway. "I'm busy." 

"I just wanted to see if you were okay," Julian says, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Did you get my flowers?" 

"Your...flowers?" You burst into laughter, then, harsh and unnatural. "Yeah, I got them alright. What would Melanie say if she knew you were sending flowers to me, hmm? C'mon Julian, I thought you were better than that." 

Hurt flashes across Julian's face. "What? Look, I felt bad that you basically had a nervous breakdown on my watch, after interacting with a dangerous patient I told you to interact with. Forgive me for doing something nice out of concern and guilt." 

And just like that, the anger deflates out of you like someone letting air out of a balloon. Julian's expression is so earnest and shattered by your callous behavior, you can't help but believe him. "Julian...I-" 

He holds up a hand to silence you. "I don't think you should be spending anymore time with 'Loki' in there. It's clearly not good for you." 

You nod, sobered. "You're right. He just has this way of getting into my head..." 

"Happens to the best of us," Julian says curtly in a way that tells you that, no, it doesn't. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Shift's up." 

You tell him goodnight before going to collect your belongings. Still, you can't help shake the feeling that someone is following you all the way to your car.

You chalk it up to paranoia and prescribe yourself a hearty glass of scotch to make the shivers down your spine cease. 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

You hardly sleep that night. 

You toss and turn, dreaming of Julian and Loki- both the character and your patient. You've never been afraid of a patient like you are of this man...there's something dangerous yet alluring about him, something that you can't seem to shake. 

It's unnerving and you'd really like it to stop. 

You grab a fresh pair of scrubs and a towel, ready to head into the shower to wash the scent of scotch off of you before returning to work. However, you let out a blood-curdling scream upon entering your bathroom.

Loki is perched on the edge of your toilet. 

"Surprise," he says with a mischievous smile. You're halfway between fainting and beating him silly. 

"You escaped?" is what you ask instead. Stupidly, you realize. "How did you get out? Did you-"

"Don't be stupid," he snorts. "I'm still safe and sound in the cage you're housing me in. However, being a god, I'm able to...pop in when I see fit."

"I'm insane," you half-ask, half-say. "God, I've really fucking lost it, haven't I?"

"I'd say touch me," he says, standing and coming towards you. "But I think you already know that it won't help anything. Unless you want me gone."

Your fingers hover in front of him, remembering how his illusions always fade into green mist in  _Thor_ _._ Still, this isn't Jotunheim, or Hollywood. This is reality, this is your apartment, your bathroom, and you are very clearly witnessing whoever this is standing in front of you.

"Leave or I'll call the cops," you say with your hands on your hips. "I'm not playing this game anymore. Julian-"

"I can read your thoughts, you know," Loki smiles, his hand hovering above your scalp. "I know what you've done while watching that Midgardian portray me on the screen...know how you've felt imagining me. I know it all."

You blush, remembering some more...intimate moments you had spent at home before while watching the movie. But that was in the past, before this...madman had entered your life-whomever he was or was pretending to be. This didn't have anything to do with him, you didn't have a crush on the man you knew. You had a crush, a  _slight_ crush, on the idea of him. "I want you to leave."

"No, you don't. Not yet." Loki slides closer to you, and while the weight of him seems real enough, you know instinctually that he's not really there. "Besides, pet, we're done when I say we're done." 

You shiver at his words. You know, rationally, you should've called the cops by now, or attacked him, or done  _anything_ rather than just stand there and have a semi-lucid conversation with him, but all you manage to ask is... "Why me?" 

Loki just chuckles, and then, disappears into a cloud of green mist. 

That's when you faint.


	6. Chapter 6

You call Liv, hysterical, as soon as you get out of the shower. "Liv," you sob over the phone. "I think I'm losing my mind."

She tells you to calm down, obviously concerned. "Is this because of that patient? The cosplayer?" 

"That's the thing," you admit shakily. "I think he could be the real thing."

"...that's pretty fucked up."

"I know!" You shout, wiping your eyes. "I know. I know. But things have been happening...I think there's a chance..."

"You need sleep," Liv says dispassionately. "There is no real Loki. He's a comic book character. The closest we could come to having a 'real' Loki around would be to have that Hiddleston guy here, and I'm 100% positive he wouldn't admit himself to a psych ward in character."

"I know," you repeat once more, staring at your stricken expression in the mirror. "But people see Jesus all the time...maybe it's not so different?"

Liv sighs, the sound crackling over the receiver. "Look, honey, I feel for you, I really do. You've been through a lot the past few days. But not all of us can play make believe all day; some of us gotta get back to work. Call me when you're...you again? Kay?"

There's a click and the call is disconnected. You feel more alone than ever, sitting on the floor of your bathroom with your cellphone pressed to your ear. 

That's when you begin to speak to him. 

"Loki?" You call out into the air. "Look I don't know if you can hear me...but...god I sound fucking crazy...I believe you. I think. I don't know. I can't explain what's been happening."

"It was quite amusing when you were trying to." You turn your head to see Loki sitting beside you, Indian-style. "But you are wise to finally believe me."

"I want to know why you chose me."

He shrugs, eyes alight with mischief. "Actually, pet, YOU chose ME. You came to me and were so anxious to figure me out. I couldn't resist having a little fun."

"Julian told me to," you grumble to your knees. "So why are you doing this? Why can't you get your magic to just poof you out of the hospital? Why stay?"

"First of all, pet, I don't 'poof'," Loki smiles. "And I require asylum for the time being. You are familiar with my story of origin. That should be explanation enough."

"So, Thor...?" you let the question hang in midair as Loki nods. "And Jane...?"

"No," his face sours. "There is no mortal that has captured my brother's heart. You Midgardians simply crave romance in every aspect of your meaningless lives- she was created in the story your race tells of us."

"And you?"

"What about me?" Loki looks surprised, for once. "You know me better than any Midgardian ever has or ever will, pet. Consider that enough...for now."


	7. Chapter 7

That night at work is pretty uneventful. 

Sure, you can tell your coworkers are talking about you; you hear them whispering as soon as you walk by, and when you go to make eye contact, they blush and turn their heads. You  _know_ everyone thinks you're crazy now (Liv's always had a big mouth and a penchant for gossip) but what of it?

Loki's  _real_.

The character (man??) you've been dreaming about, fantasizing about...he's really real. He's actually apart of your life, talking to you, entrusting you... It still seems pretty surreal when you think about it. Things like this, they don't happen,  _especially_ not to someone like you. But, against all odds (and logic) it is. For better or worse, Loki's apart of your life now. 

You can't go see him, of course. You're pretty sure that Julian's made sure of that. Plus, with all the gossip floating around the hospital, the  _last_ thing you need is accusations that you're abusing your power...or worse, one of the patients. No, it's better for you to tend to your own patients for the night and stay under the radar as much as possible. 

If only he'd stop bothering you.

 _"What's the matter, pet? Too good to come see me?"_ His voice is taunting you within your own head, and it's horribly distracting. You almost want to slap yourself on the forehead to get it to stop, but you know that wouldn't help the whole, don't-see-me-as-crazy campaign you're trying to employ. 

"Can you stop?" you whisper to yourself, filling out your paperwork for the evening. "I'm busy and you're very hard to ignore." 

_"I thought you knew that already, foolish pet. I rather miss our little chats face to face, however."  
_

"Julian..." you sigh, chewing on the end of your pen thoughtfully. "He doesn't want me to see you anymore." 

 _"Well then, clearly we can't play together anymore, if Julian forbids it!"_ Loki's snickering in your head. Brat.  _"Come now, do you really think that pathetic excuse for a mortal has any power over me?"_

"He has power over  _me_ , Loki." 

_"That's a pity. You're twice the mortal he is. So clever and cunning. You shouldn't let him dictate your actions."_

You blush under the heat of Loki's compliments, even if it is to yourself, sitting alone in the break room. "Shut up," you mumble anyway, smiling to yourself. "I'll try to swing by before my shift ends, but no promises okay?" 

 _"I could force you, you know."_ All of a sudden, you're standing out of your seat against your own accord. You see your feet moving and you're helpless to stop them, never mind choose the direction in which they're traveling. You let out a feeble cry of protest when you stop walking and Loki relents in your head.  _"Just a reminder of who's really in charge here, pet. Do not underestimate me."_

"Don't do that again," you snarl. "Seriously, I mean it Loki. I'm willing to help you, but not like this. Not if you're going to use me as your puppet." 

"Who are you talking to?" 

You spin around to find Julian in the doorway of the break room. Loki roars with laughter in your mind. "No one," you tell Julian hastily. "Just thinking out loud, is all." 

Julian raises an eyebrow at you skeptically before pushing past you to get to the vending machine. "Sounded pretty intense. Everything okay?" 

"Fine," you nod. "Everything's fine. I'm feeling much better." 

Julian smiles at you, popping the tab on his coke. Loki's gone quiet, troublingly, inside your head. "That's good." He shifts on his feet, looking as though he has more to say to you. You prompt him to do so. "It's nothing...I was just wondering...if you'd like to grab a coffee sometime?"

"But...Melanie?" You ask, puzzled. "I mean, don't you-"

"Not as a date," Julian corrects you. "Just as friends. I don't have many friends in the city and it gets kind of lonely when Melanie's at work; we're on different schedules and all. So maybe one day before work? Would that be alright?" 

 _"Liar,"_ Loki hisses to you.  _"Bastard. He is attempting to deceive you. He reeks of dishonesty. Deny him at once."  
_

You smile at Loki's jealousy (although he huffs that it's anything but to you) but find yourself accepting Julian's offer anyway. 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: dubious consent and light smut ahead.

Loki has been staying out of your head (and bathroom respectively) for the past few days. He's acting like a child, really, but you can't help but feel some pride at the jealousy he's showing.

"I can have other friends besides you," you tell the mirror one morning while brushing your teeth. "You're acting like a child."

You end up dropping toothpaste all over your shirt but you're not completely sure if it's his doing or not.

When you meet Julian for coffee, you're fully expecting to be able to march into the hospital afterwards and throw it in Loki's smug face of just how wrong he was.

"You look nice," Julian compliments you as you meet him outside of the Starbucks, a couple miles away from the hospital.

"I'm in my scrubs," you laugh. "I look like this all the time."

"You always look nice," Julian mumbles to himself, blushing. He clears his throat then, staring at you oddly. "Wanna get a coffee and then take a walk around the park?"

It sounds innocent enough. You agree, and clutching your caramel macchiato tightly, the two of you head out.

You're surprised to hear that Julian's moved to New York fairly recently from Chicago; most of his family and friends are still located in Illinois.

"That's got to be tough," you sympathize with him. "Being on your own."

"I mean, I have Melanie," Julian sighs, sounding distracted.

"But it's not enough?"

"She works a lot," he shrugs. "Living in the city is expensive. And we can only do so much."

"I understand," you nod. "My ex...he was paying half the rent for a while. When he moved out things got tougher."

"I didn't realize you had someone serious."

It's your turn to shrug. "I did. I wanted to get married. He didn't. It ended. Life goes on."

"He's an idiot." Julian blurts out. You stare at him. Julian's behavior is slowly making you more and more uncomfortable.

"Julian..." You begin. "I don't want to give you the wrong impression, but I thought we were here as friends. I'm not looking to get between you and Melanie."

The next thing you know there's a pair of lips covering yours.

For a few seconds you're too stunned to do anything. Julian's mouth is powerful and demanding, threatening to consume you if you don't break free. You struggle against him, finally managing to tear your mouth away. "What the fuck?! Julian!" You exclaim, but Julian ignores you as he moves down your throat with his lips.

It doesn't feel good, not even close. You feel dirty and violated and you're trying to push him off you even though he's pretty heavy. When you feel him start to paw at your chest, however, you drive your knee into his crotch. He doubles over, moaning in pain.

"Fuck you," you hiss at him. "You don't get to do that to me, to your fucking girlfriend."

"You wanted it," Julian wheezes from his position on the ground. "When's the last time you've been fucked, anyway? You're so fucking uptight."

"Fuck you," you repeat, this time with tears in your eyes. "You come near me again and I'll kill you, understand?" You leave the park before he has a chance to answer.

* * *

 

 

You avoid both Julian and Loki at work that night, wanting nothing more than to be at home in your bed.

When that moment finally comes, you flop down on the mattress when sleep overtakes you all too suddenly. You don't even have a chance to change out of your scrubs.

As you sleep, you dream that Loki is on the edge of your bed. When you open your eyes, he meets you with a sad smile. "I wish you would've listened to me pet," he sighs mournfully to you. "Such a despicable creature...don't worry. He will pay for his actions."

"Loki," you say in your dream, reaching out for him. "He was right. I'm too uptight; I've been alone for too long."

"That's because you've been waiting for me," Loki laughs before kissing you sweetly. His lips are nothing like Julian's- they're warm and soft and they move against yours like water. You thread your hands in his long black hair, drawing him closer.

"Loki," you whisper in his ear. "Please." You're not even fully sure what you're begging him for.

"Relax, lovely," Loki chuckles, his teeth grazing over your jugular. "You are mine now, and no other man shall lay a finger on you again."

"Good," you moan as Loki's hands slip under your shirt. "I only ever wanted you, anyway."

He sinks his teeth into your neck, sucking along the sensitive skin there. "Mine," he growls into your ear. And that's when you promptly wake up.


	9. Chapter 9

You don't have work the next day, and for that you're grateful.

The last person you want to see is Julian. You still feel dirty and violated and you spend ages in the shower trying to get clean. Nothing seems to help.

You call out for Loki even though you're afraid to face him. You don't want him inside of your head, recalling your...vivid dream from last night. That's another complication in your life you really don't need.

When you emerge from the bathroom, Loki is sitting at your kitchen table. "I would say that I was right," he begins, motioning to a plate of bacon and eggs lying in front of him. "But even I am not that cruel."

You pull out the chair opposite from him. "Oh but you were right," you sigh, putting your head in your hands. "I was just too stubborn to listen to you."

"You should eat." He's ignoring your misery. "We have things to discuss."

You push the plate away, angrily. "I'm not really in the mood today, Loki. I was nearly raped last night. So if we could save the whole-"

"I am hiding on Midgard from the Allfather," Loki says loudly, cutting you off. "If I am found, he will bring me back to Asgard and have me killed."

The words settle heavy in your chest. "But...why? Not to be rude but...what did you do?"

Loki growls in irritation. "I thought I chose a mortal so devoted to me that I would not need to go through this tiresome process of explaining all my past mistakes to you!" He hurls the chair against the wall without touching it. The table itself starts to levitate and you grab onto it quickly, forcing its legs back onto the ground.

"I'm not going to be ordered around like a slave." You tell him calmly. "Either tell me the whole story or get out of my life."

Loki's chest is heaving with the rage he is trying hard to contain, and all you can think is that he looks incredibly erotic on the brink of losing control.

Julian was right. You do need to get laid.

"I'm sorry, my pet." Loki says tonelessly after a moment. "I only have half of the temper that my brother has, but it is still more than enough to manage at times. I tried to destroy Jotunheim, as you'll recall. When I fell off the Bifrost, they thought me dead, but now..."

You nod. You remember how the movie went. You just didn't believe it was...well...real. "So that's why you were hiding in the hospital?"

"Heimdall has difficulty fixing his gaze upon areas of highly concentrated, and troubled, souls. I thought it would be best to hide there."

"And you were honest with us because you thought we would all think you were crazy?"

Loki laughs in an exasperated fashion, running long, lean fingers through his hair. "Everyone but you pet. I didn't plan on having such an...open minded mortal come to my 'rescue'. You really...put a wrench in things, as it were."

"I'm sorry I'm so bothersome." You snap, abruptly leaving your seat. "I didn't uproot YOUR life, though. I didn't make you think you were crazy or...or pop into your bathroom without notice or-"

This time, Loki's illusion cuts you off by kissing you.

His lips are feather light against your own and you yearn to hold him against you and kiss him until your breath is stolen out of your chest-

But then he's gone once more, leaving only a swirl of green smoke behind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: dubious consent/violence ahead.

It thunderstorms for the next few days.

"Tropical storm Arthur," they're calling it on every news channel, but you're not so sure. Ever since Loki had confessed to you his whereabouts on Earth, you're a little unsettled, expecting Thor to pop up at every corner.

Work is a mess. The power keeps going out, wreaking havoc on the machines that keep the hospital population alive. Because of that, more staff are needed downstairs and the psychiatric unit is suffering from being wholly understaffed, something the patients are quick to take advantage of. It's more crowd control than anything at this point, but it's still pretty nerve wracking.

"This is nuts!" Liv cries, as she's trying to wrestle a teenage schizophrenic back in her room. "They're insane if they think they can take all this staffing away from us! We're close to a full-blown riot!"

"Let's not give them any ideas," you remind her, grabbing one of the girl's arms and helping Liv transport her.

"When is this supposed to let up?" Liv asks you, out of breath after the girl is situated. She motions to the battery operated lamps placed around the psychiatric wing and the howling of wind beyond the windows. "I heard them talking about flooding earlier."

"Shit that's all we need," you moan just as a raindrop plops onto your head from a crack in the roof above. "Are you kidding me? This damn hospital is falling apart."

"Who's going to pay to fix it? You?" Liv asks with a laugh. "C'mon I'll buy you a coffee."

You follow her to the break room when you're intercepted by Julian. "You're needed to help on the male side." You're skeptical at best.

"Why does it have to be me?" You ask him coldly.

"You have a relationship with some of the patients. It's a common sense decision." Julian snaps at you. You can't really continue to argue with him about it; it's not professional. Begrudgingly, you follow Julian down the dark hallway when you feel a pair of hands pull you into the janitorial closet.

"Loki?" You whisper into the darkness, unsure of who it is. You don't get a concrete answer before the individual starts kissing you.

Panicked, you remain immobile, mainly taking the onslaught. You reach out to Loki in your mind, hoping that he'll answer you and alert him to your presence. There's no answer, and your anxiety only heightens.

"I knew you wanted this," Julian says in your ear and your stomach turns. "You act like you're all hard to get, but I know and you know that we're supposed to be together, right?"

"Julian," you say warningly. "You. Have. A. Girlfriend. It's not worth it to be messing around with me."

"Fuck Melanie," Julian mumbles against your neck. "I'll leave her in a heartbeat for you. Is that what you want, baby? It's okay: you don't have to be alone anymore."

His hands are holding your hips flush against the door. You know you can't force him off you, again, and you can't see anything to attack him with. "Julian...we're at work...we can't be doing this..."

"Shut. Up." Julian growls, pulling the bottom of your scrubs down to your ankles. "I've had it with this game."

"As have I," Loki's voice speaks, and immediately you think it's occurring inside your head.

Until you feel Julian's body go flying across the closet.

"What the fuck?!" Julian screams, struggling against various mops and brooms. The meager beams of light from the hallway illuminate the rage on his face as he charges the silhouette standing in the doorframe.

The figure (Loki, you're assuming) pushes back, and once more, Julian goes flying, landing on his back. Loki then pounces on Julian's chest, pale fingers wrapped around his throat.

"Loki!" You scream, attempting to pull him off. "Stop! You'll kill him!"

"That's the idea," he tells you calmly, squeezing even harder by the sounds of Julian's gurgling breath. "He harmed you again, pet. I made you a promise, did I not?"

"Please don't kill him!" Tears are brimming in your eyes. "Loki, I know you're better than this, please!"

Emerald eyes fix themselves upon you in the dark, and reluctantly, the pressure on Julian's neck wanes. Still, Julian doesn't move from the floor.

"Oxygen deprivation," Loki says, reading your thoughts. "Maybe he'll live, maybe he won't. Isn't it exciting, the fragility of mortals?"

You're too stunned to move. You cower against the wall, vaguely aware that your pants are still around your ankles.

From the hungry gaze in Loki's eyes, it's apparent he's aware of that fact too. "Let me have you," he says, voice gone all husky. "Please, pet. Let me have you."

You want to say no, but for the first time since you've accepted Loki into your life, you're scared. Instead you find yourself saying, "Okay. But not here."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut ahead. If that's not your thing, feel free to skip this one.

In a flash (literally) you're back at your apartment, clinging to Loki.

He looks at you with a predatory smile that makes you shiver and immediately crashes his lips to yours. You moan, satisfied at how better it is to be kissed by the actual Loki rather than one of his illusions.

Still, you can't fully enjoy yourself. You push Loki away firmly, trying to catch your breath. "You killed Julian."

"I may have," Loki shrugs, moving his lips to your neck. "But I believe we can save this conversation to later." His hand squeezes your breast lightly and you feel your knees buckle in response.

"You escaped from the h-hospital," you gasp as Loki's hands slide under your top. "They'll be looking for you-Ohhhh...."

Your bra falls to the floor and your top vanishes from your body, leaving you completely exposed to Loki's attentions. His mouth encloses around one of your nipples and your head falls back. You can't even remember what you were talking about anymore.

"Worry not, pet," Loki smirks against your stomach. "I take care of what is mine."

When his mouth meets your most private part, you can help but cry out. You entwine your fingers in wild, raven hair and moan and gasp as Loki's tongue works you from the inside out. You want to cum so badly, you've never felt desire like this for anyone before, but on the same token you can't imagine it being over so soon. "Stop!" You pant, pushing his head away. "I can't- not yet..."

When Loki looks up at you, he's positively beaming before pulling off his meager pants from the hospital. "Don't worry, darling," he coos to you. "I have what you need."

He thrusts into you quickly, barely giving you any time to adjust. You cry out his name as your body clenches around him, clawing at his bare shoulders with your fingernails, wondering when he had time to shed his shirt.

"You beautiful, wonderful creature," Loki hisses in pleasure, increasing his speed. "You are mine. You will always be mine." His teeth sink into your collarbone so hard you feel blood begin to trickle down your skin.

"Loki," you moan long and loud, feeling yourself nearing the edge. "I love you I've always loved you please!"

With a lasting groan, Loki thrusts against you one last time before, you too, finish against him with mangled cry of his name. You feel pleasantly sated as Loki loosens his death grip on you, from holding you up against the wall. Tenderly he lies you on your bed, covering you with the covers as your eyes begin to close.

"You'll stay, right?" You mumble sleepily into your pillow. "You won't leave me?"

Loki doesn't answer, but you can feel the bed sink slightly as he slides in next to you as you drift away to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

When you wake up, the first thing you reach for is Loki. 

Not too unsurprisingly, he's absent from your bed. You figure that he's poking around in the kitchen or using your shower, but after searching your apartment you find yourself completely alone. You call out for him a few times but there's no answer inside your head, no illusion to greet you. 

It's odd, to say the least. 

Still, it's not the first time Loki's decided to play hide and seek with you. You brush it off the best you can and busy yourself in the shower, taking more time than you'd like to wake up fully. When you find your phone, however, you see that you have eleven missed calls- all from Liv. 

You call her back sucking in a deep breath through your teeth. You just  _know_ this involves a) Julian and b) your disappearance from your shift last night; you just doesn't hope this means you're fired. "Liv? What's up?"

"Are you alright?!" Liv screeches into the receiver. "Holy shit, hun, I was  _so_ worried when I couldn't find you last night!" 

"What? Relax," this is unexpected. You didn't expect Liv to be worried. Angry, maybe, irritated even. But not worried. "I'm fine. I just ended up heading out early. I...erm...I had food poisoning." 

"That guy broke out," Liv tells you in a rush. "Loki? The John Doe? He got out and the whole hospital is  _a mess_. We've been crawling with cops all afternoon!" 

"Cops?!" You splutter. "Why??"

"Apparently that guy is  _dangerous_. I mean, we knew he was unstable and all, but some feds came in asking about him. This sounds like terrorism, girl. They want to speak to everyone who was on shift last night to see if they can find anything out about where he might've gone or what he's planning."

You snort. You're no help there. Even being in the know with Loki meant you were still trapped in the dark. "I'm still not feeling well though...I really have to come in?" 

"Are you kidding me?!" Liv cries, incredulous. "Did you hear me mention  _feds_? Yes, you have to fucking come in and answer their questions. These are  _not_ people I would keep waiting."

You cover the phone as you groan dramatically. Truth be told, you're still a little sore from last night, and you don't want to risk running into Julian (assuming that he's healed) or having anyone ask you about him. Still, you need to keep up appearances. "I'll be right there. Hold on." 

* * *

When you rush through the hospital, you find Liv already talking to one of the "feds". 

The guy is balding and smartly dressed in a blue suit. You watch Liv motion to you and he thanks her, turning to face you. "Hello, ma'am," he addresses you, politely enough. You return his greeting and tell him your name coolly. 

"Is this going to take long?" You ask with a hint of irritation. "I came down with food poisoning last night and I'm still not feeling well." 

The man fixes you with a clipped smile. "It shouldn't take long at all. I thank you for your cooperation. Shall we?" He leads you into one of the abandoned conference rooms. You take a seat across from him, reluctantly. 

"My name is Agent Phil Coulson," the agent tells you, folding his hands in front of him on the table. "I've been working on this particular...case for a while now." 

"Case?" You bite at the inside of your mouth, bored. "I don't understand. The patient in question is a John Doe. He was found wandering around Central Park, half out of his mind with delusions and paranoia. I think you're mistaken about his identity." 

Coulson continues to smile that tightly pressed grin at you, making you uneasy. "I assure you, ma'am, we don't make mistakes. This...John Doe, as you're referring to him? Killed around 80 people in Stuttgart, Germany. One of which had his eye removed on a piece of artwork in front of the public during a museum fundraiser." 

Revulsion overtakes you. That _can't_ be Loki's doing. Still, you don't want to seem emotionally invested in him in front of this agent. "He's never shown any violent tendencies here before," you shrug.

"Really? I think that if I asked...Julian Mendez I'd get a different answer," Coulson smooths his tie smugly. You want to punch him for bringing up Julian. "He was attacked last night. Some patients reported noticing you and the patient leaving a closet where Mendez's unconscious body lay on the floor." 

"We have a lot of schizophrenics here who are prone to hallucinations," you snap. "It's common for them to make allegations against staff members they're not particularly fond of based on their emotions that tend to play on their illnesses." 

Coulson doesn't answer you and instead slides an iPad across the table to you. The video its playing shows someone who looks very much like Loki wearing a black suit with a green scarf, smashing a security guard's skull open with a scepter and continuing to terrorize a group of glittering individuals dressed in their finest outfits. 

You want to be sick. 

"I can't help you," you say, thrusting the iPad back at him. "I'm sorry. The patient is gone, I left early last night due to illness, I have no clue of his whereabouts."

"In the future, that something does jog your memory?" Coulson says as he stands from the table, extending his hand out to you. "I would hope that you would contact me directly, miss. I do thank you for taking the time to talk to me, however." 

You nod wishing that he would just  _leave_ already. "I'm sorry I couldn't be more help." 

"Yes, well..." Coulson's eyes fix on your neck and he pauses at the door. "If I may make a suggestion? I would cover that...hickey on your neck. I would hate for your employer to think you were lying about leaving early last night."


End file.
